In the beginning

In the beginning there were no conventions. How did we write when there was nothing else to write about? I’m tempted to ask my literature students to buck the traditional English Literature model of constantly seeking connections to other works of literature, words of other thinkers, allusions to other works. I want them to write their own creation stories. Beginnings are important, and how we start our own “In the beginning” tells our readers a lot about our state of mind. 

The Giver, the summer reading for my tenth grade English class, starts like this:

“It was almost December, and Jonas was beginning to be frightened. No. Wrong word, Jonas thought. Frightened meant that deep, sickening feeling of something terrible about to happen. Frightened was the way he had felt a year ago when an unidentified aircraft had overflown the community twice.”

Not even four lines in, and frightened has been used three times. Sickening, terrible, unidentified, all set a tone decidedly different from the reassuring “And God saw that it was good” of Genesis 1:10. 

Here’s my creation story, of my world as it was born on Tuesday.

The sensation was gratitude to be following someone. As a baby, in transition, in the womb, I had been on my own, not necessarily prepared with the language skills (read or speak Arabic), or physical strength (heave 58 pound suitcase) to do what I had to do. But like a baby who somehow makes it to the delivery room, I passed through the arrivals doors into Ben Gurion. I hemmed and hawed, wandered aimlessly, contemplated the ATM, and finally approached someone to ask to use a cell phone to call my nowhere-to-be-seen driver Bassam. Later, when I Bassam took my suitcase, I felt my first instinct- relief to be led. 

***

Reading literature, listening to the news, going to the theater, one is struck by how much our cultural dialogue stands upon repetition and recurrence. 

“What canst thou say?” said George Fox. We know what the priests and preachers are saying. What canst thou say, that’s new?

Mark Twain took the Bible stories into his own hands, tossed out convention, assumed the voice of Adam, and said “Monday: This new creature with the long hair is a good deal in the way. It is always hanging around and following me about. I don’t like this. I’m not used to company, I wish it would stay with the other animals.” 

I like this because Adam wrote about what he felt, not in relation to how others felt, or how society told him he should feel (there was no society). This week I’ll ask my students to do the same. 

At Home on Friends Street

Ha, this keyboard types from right to left!
Well, just wanted to note a change in this unity - I have taken a job at the Ramallah Friends School for this school year, and I arrived in Ramallah today.
I met and went out to dinner with Olivia, Will, Trystan and Bethany, (Trystan and Bethany are in the photo) and am feeling so grateful to be surrounded by neighbors in a new neighborhood

Quaker Process Part 2: No veto

There were some funny stories at Quaker Studies this past weekend, about Quaker meetings for business in which one member simply refuses to stand down and accept that the meeting move forward with a certain action.

In one case, a meeting was discussing the meeting's investments in South African companies during Apartheid. One member felt extremely strongly about the issue and refused to join the rest of the meeting when all others had reached clarity. The business item remained open for 10 years, until the single member changed his mind and joined the rest of the meeting in unity. By then Apartheid had ended, so the issue was rather moot...

What to do in Quaker meeting for worship for business when dissent arises? Writing on Quaker business practices, Eden Grace writes,

individuals do not hold a power of veto, and should be ready to recognize the validity of corporate leadings and to submit to them if conscience allows, being recorded in the minutes as "standing aside".

When they are not willing to stand aside... what happens? Well, they can be overridden, or at least they have been at Durham in the past. That is huge, compared to a scenario where one voice can derail an otherwise united committee.

Consider the power of veto today. The president can veto any bill brought to his desk. Certain members of the UN Security Council can veto international military or aid campaigns. Last week Somini Sengupta wrote in the New York Times about why the U.N. can't solve the world's problems. 

"The problem is not that the major powers don't care [about what's happening in Ukraine, Palestine, and Syria]. It is that they care too much. Russia and the United States have a great deal at stake in each conflict, and the rules of diplomacy enable them, as well as the other three permanent members - Britain, China and France - to veto any security Council action."

This path behind Castelton State College where NEYM sessions were held provided much needed interludes between business sessions

The article goes on to state that the U.S. has vetoed 14 draft resolutions, most regarding the Israeli Palestinian conflict; Russia has vetoed 11 concerning allied governments like Syria's. 

A Quaker meeting for business might not be the only place one waits 10 years for a shift to occur-- a shift that comes too late to be of help. 

Our Sunday School class discussed this week the difference between a normal meeting for business, in which our interests and opinions are the source of the opinions that form the discussion, and a Quaker meeting for business, in which the members listen to discern God's will for the corporate body, rather than trying to hash out a compromise between the human interests at the table. 

We used a helpful handout written by Susan Smith, where she writes that for early Friends, "the basic assumption was that God would lead into unity those who truly submitted themselves to God's will... Friends believed that people who seek and follow God's will for a given situation are automatically brought into unity with each other, because God does not offer contradictory instructions for the same situation." 

I was frustrated by the worshipful-verging-on-lethargic atmosphere at some of the NEYM business meetings, but hearing that even the high-stakes, official U.N. talks get stymied with their own tools reminded me that group decisions are never easy. If our first goal is to promote peace with the way we live, Quaker process is worth our attention and study because it focuses as much on listening as on speaking- on seeking to align with a larger will as with trying to align others with one's individual will. 

Vastly better way to do business? Perhaps not. 
Vastly less efficient? Perhaps not. 
Worth a try? Yes.

Quaker process, part 1: a role for humor?

"Friends, we're grateful to be gathered." So said the clerk at the start of the last session of business at Yearly Meeting. Having presided over some testy meetings and sought the sense of the meeting all week, with a broken shoulder to boot, her gratitude made her seem angelic.

And in fact, Quaker process as it is written fairly demands divinity. The level of acceptance, self-restraint, patience in listening, and obedience to the sense of the work of individual committees and the clerk, are superhuman. Sometimes our human nature bursts onto the scene, in a frustrated outburst, or a [comparatively] aggressive "That Friend speaks MY mind!" during a discussion. In our attempts to be perfectly measured and holy, ever flooded by divine Love and acutely aware of that of God in those we disagree with, we strained our human nature until it snapped.

How holy are we expected to be? Is there a room for humor, which would likely diffuse some of that pent up human-ness?

Humor at business sessions:
1. Tomatoes on the lectern: Starting on Sunday, someone put a tomato on the corner of the lectern that all reports and keynotes are given from. If an explanation was given, I missed it. Two mornings later, there were three more, smaller tomatoes lined up across the lectern. Again no explanation. During Wednesday night's business session, which witnessed the most controversy, a Friend from Cambridge Meeting jumped on stage between speakers and put a tiny cherry tomato at the end of the line. Laughter clapped across the auditorium, which moments before (and moments after) was heavy with disagreement. Such harmless irreverence was likely, though not certainly, appreciated by all.

2. Elaborate introductions: If I stood to speak in a "meeting for worship for business", (the Quaker name for business meetings) I would preclude my statement with, "Mimi Marstaller, Durham Friends Meeting." By Wednesday night Friends were getting punchy.
"D---- W-----,  Portsmouth Meeting, New Hampshire, on the border of Maine, next to the Atlantic Ocean."
"H-------- E---------, Worcester Meeting, Worcester Mass. Which is the second largest city in New England."
Titters rose from the audience, then a Friend said
"R-------- Z----------, South Stockton Meeting. The first time I came to Yearly Meeting I had no idea where any of the Meetings were located. Can we please not make fun of it?"

3. Clowning around: After a tense discussion on Thursday morning of the Legacy Fund, which had been a topic of controversy the night before, General Secretary Noah Baker Merrill took to the tomato-laden lectern to report on the attendance numbers for NEYM this year. He donned a clown's nose, and Ben Guerraldi, Cambridge Meeting, stood behind him, stuck his arms under Noah's, and gesticulated wildly through the whole presentation. It was the only time all week when I bent over laughing. And I generally love to take things way too seriously. This video captures a moment of their presentation; I do not exaggerate when I say that it brought the meeting back to life.

Yes, it is easy to bring humor into happy discussions (attendance and financial vitals for the conference were up this year). I don't suggest bringing humor into the deepest, most divided discussions. But by all means, bring on the humorous interludes. The tomatoes and Ben and Noah's clowning will remain some of my strongest and best NEYM memories. 

Quakers and Entrepreneurs, first cousins

Children sitting in Quaker worship, or those new to Quaker meeting, might wonder "How long do you have to sit in the silence in order to hear God?"


This week at New England Yearly Meeting, a gathering of about 700 Friends in Vermont, there are many opportunities to sit in silence. There's the half hour of silent worship from 6:30-7:00 am, which for the past two mornings has been held outside and offered views of mist-wrapped hills. That silence is designed to stoke the coals of the Spirit.
There's the minute of silence observed at the end of workshops, like the scant minute at the end of an impassioned presentation and discussion on the situation in Gaza. That kind of silence is designed to toss water on flaring embers of the human spirit, and to remind us why we sit in silence together.


We do not, after all, gather in Quaker fellowship to listen to each other. As Susan Smith points out in this piece on Quaker Process, we gather to discern God's will for our group. At the Quaker meeting for worship for business this morning, we met with the intention of hearing God's message to our corporate body, not what He had to say to each of us individually.


Writes Smith:


"Friends believed that people who seek and follow God’s will for a given situation are automatically brought into unity with each other, because God does not offer contradictory instructions for the same situation."


But how long does all this listening take? What if the right course of action doesn't spring into the group conscious, and continues not to? There are, in fact, items which have been on the agenda of the Yearly Meeting for years.


I submit that Quakers might take a page from both Romans and from the entrepreneur's handbook. It's actually kind of the same page.


Romans 12:2 says (ESV)
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.


This could be paraphrased as "Disregard the status quo- think outside the box, and tinker until you find the right path, the path that God made for you." This is basically how entrepreneurs behave, though God might not be foremost in their thoughts. What is foremost in their thoughts is listening- trying to discern a need around them that is not being met.

Today David Brooks writes about James Mwangi, a Kenyan entrepreneur who started Equity Bank, offering savings accounts to poor Kenyans. The bank met a need, but for the first several years it struggled, losing money each year. But things changed, Kenyans began earning more money, and today the bank holds nearly half Kenya's bank accounts.

Mwangi must have had an inkling that a bank was a good idea. But he didn't know it would work well, and in fact it didn't for a long time. But he rolled up his sleeves, and began "testing" in order to "discern" what was the right path to follow in his goal to create a successful business and provide a valuable service.

Quakers should be similarly willing to jump into the game before we know whether something will be a shoe in. Let's not let our hair turn gray while we wait for God to make his entire will clear. Let's act on the first step, then tinker with the live project as we go.

Where should Quakers roll up our sleeves?
-by writing a replacement for the FUM personnel policy which honors gay and lesbian Friends. It may not be perfect, but it will continue the conversation.
-publish goals regarding church planting in cities, giving each Monthly Meeting a charge to start a Worship Group in a nearby town, since today's seekers are looking for a faith community based in town, not in countryside.
-Try a completely new budget plan which involves less charitable giving, in order to balance the budget, and commits Friends to a year of turning that energy inward to strengthen Meetings themselves: let those who want to lead take a role in adult education. Lead Faith and Practice study groups. Have retreats at the Meetinghouse, in tents in the backyard, rather than flying off to Cuba or England for an exciting tour of Quaker history. We can just as well test the will of God by examining and rearranging our own backyards as by examining the yards of distant neighbors.

Perfection = paralysis

When you hear perfection, what do you think of? A Martha Stewart dinner party, table adorned with seasonally appropriate natural elements? A checkbook that is always balanced? Dandelion-free lawns? A steak that is the right shade of rosy in the center?

Now think about spiritual perfection. What does perfection in our spiritual lives look like? Never having an angry thought? Showing love and kindness toward all all the time? Taking each action as if it were a prayer? Deliberately pausing to ask God's guidance before deciding anything? Giving 10% of everything to charity?

I can feel myself shrink in my chair as I type these phrases.



Sir Winston Churchill said "The maxim 'Nothing avails but perfection,' may be spelled 'Paralysis.'" He certainly should have known; a wartime leader when rules were being rewritten and nations were faced with frightful alternatives, Churchill knew that one cannot simultaneously pursue perfection and growth.

While we all know this in our heart of hearts, it's hard to remember how OK it is to stumble, drop the ball, and most importantly, ask for help, when we separate ourselves from our spiritual fellows. The literature can be unforgiving.

A solitary perusal of a Quaker query, for example, can be an exercise in making oneself smaller.

6. Personal Conduct
Do you live with simplicity, moderation, and integrity? Are you punctual in keeping promises, careful in speech, just and compassionate in all your dealings with others? Do you take care that your spiritual growth is not sacrificed to busyness but instead integrates your life's activities? Are your recreations consistent with Quaker values; do they refresh your spirit and renew your body and mind?

"Well, on most days...."

WHEW! What a list. Helpful questions, no doubt, but fearful too, unless faced in community and discussed in terms of the reality of imperfection.

At Monthly Meeting in July the clerk read the Query on home and family. Here's my favorite line:
"Should conflict or crisis threaten the stability of the home, are you open to seeking all necessary help, both from your meeting and from the larger community?"

Part way through the meeting the recording clerk requested that the business pause so we could review the minutes. The conversation had been a bit unwieldy, and she said "I need your guidance on this one, Friends!" I wanted to ring a gong and shout with acclamation. She was following the query! She found herself facing difficulty in her work, and she was asking for help with it. We all face "conflicts and crises" every day. I hope we don't feel like we need to deal with them in spiritual perfection, as Jesus might. God is perfect. We are NOT. I might ask, "What would Jesus do?" but follow it with "I'll try to do that, knowing that I'll fall short because I am human."

When we have sticky troubles, like jealousy or resentment, we should talk to others about them. Paul said that when he had such a "thorn in the flesh" he asked Jesus to remove it. The response was "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you." Then Paul rejoiced in his weakness, knowing that it in fact brought him closer to God.

Yesterday my difficulty was finding out that I didn't get a job I had hoped to get. I called a friend soon after I got the disappointing email, and cried. I hadn't been the "perfect" candidate, but more painfully, I hadn't had a "perfect" understanding of what God's will is for me. Sharing my crisis with another brought me closer to God, as fellowship almost always does.

A pamphlet (download from bottom of this page) made by the American Friends Service Committee describes the testimonies and how friends try to live by the SPICES (They do not use that term)
Simplicity
Peace
Integrity
Community
Equality
Stewardship

In what might be another piece of literature that reminds us how hard the spiritual path is, they insert this piece of wisdom:

"Be gentle with yourself

While attempting to live in concert with these teachings , Quakers are tender with themselves and with each other when they fall short, ready to recommit and try again."

Slaves to the timeline

This fascinating community project called "Embassy" in California is eager to examine what community can mean in a new society where people are, first of all, mobile. How can we establish enclaves of authentic community where we have no nostalgic community? In Brunswick I have community by default because "I'm from here." I'm a Mainer. I frequent the same grocery store and post office as my neighbors. More and more people my age choose new communities or have lives in which they jump around and never develop traditional ties to a place. We are not as "settled" physically. Does it necessarily follow that we are not as "settled" spiritually? 

After that introduction, I'm actually going to postpone that discussion to another day, and write today about how, if we are no longer held in space by our circumstances (we are more mobile than ever), we are still held in our temporal position. We are still defined by our times. 

Carlo Bergonzi, 1924-2014

I love reading obituaries because they give examples of non-linear lives. And because they tell human stories. This morning I read about a great opera tenor, Carlo Bergonzi, who lived for three years in a concentration camp during WWII because of anti-Nazi things he said. Three years. He was a product of his time and political climate in a way that we will never experience and I have a hard time even imagining. 

Jehan Alain 1911-1940

At a midday organ concert today, the performer played a piece by composer Jehan Alain, a Frenchman who lived only to 29 because, in addition to composing, he served as a dispatch rider in the French army in WWII and was shot on the job. 

It was during and immediately after WWII that Thomas Kelly travelled to Europe and witnessed the horror which inspired some of his more passionate passages in "A Testament of Devotion." Toward the end of the book he says we all have certain tasks that are given to us in our time, and it is our divine duty to pursue them. 

"the Loving Presence... considerately puts upon each of us just a few central tasks, as emphatic responsibilities."

Perhaps for Bergonzi, that task was singing Verdi. For Alain, composing organ music. Their position in time profoundly impacted their lives, but not the inner fire that motivated them to give of themselves in the way God intended them to. 

Kelly believes that we need not be discouraged if the environment, the era in which we do our work is hostile to it. He assures us that "the Now contains all that is needed for the absolute satisfaction of our deepest cravings." (95) That's what I love about Quakerism! Eternity? Please. We can live in God's glory today. I like the way Kelly describes living into our tasks, regardless of the times:

"Not with the rattle and clatter of hammers, not with trained eyebrows and tense muscles but in peace and power and confidence we work upon such apparently hopeless tasks as the elimination of war from society, and set out toward world-brotherhood and interracial fraternity in a world where all the calculated changes of success are very meagre." (103)

Perhaps our goals, based on our times or the current political climate, are "unreasonable." But the Now, as Kelly argues, is all we have. And if we are as prolific in accomplishing our God-given tasks as Alain was, as John Keats or John Lennon or Princess Diana or Steve Jobs were, we won't have done too poorly!