When you hear perfection, what do you think of? A Martha Stewart dinner party, table adorned with seasonally appropriate natural elements? A checkbook that is always balanced? Dandelion-free lawns? A steak that is the right shade of rosy in the center?
Now think about spiritual perfection. What does perfection in our spiritual lives look like? Never having an angry thought? Showing love and kindness toward all all the time? Taking each action as if it were a prayer? Deliberately pausing to ask God's guidance before deciding anything? Giving 10% of everything to charity?
I can feel myself shrink in my chair as I type these phrases.
Sir Winston Churchill said "The maxim 'Nothing avails but perfection,' may be spelled 'Paralysis.'" He certainly should have known; a wartime leader when rules were being rewritten and nations were faced with frightful alternatives, Churchill knew that one cannot simultaneously pursue perfection and growth.
While we all know this in our heart of hearts, it's hard to remember how OK it is to stumble, drop the ball, and most importantly, ask for help, when we separate ourselves from our spiritual fellows. The literature can be unforgiving.
A solitary perusal of a Quaker query, for example, can be an exercise in making oneself smaller.
6. Personal Conduct
Do you live with simplicity, moderation, and integrity? Are you punctual in keeping promises, careful in speech, just and compassionate in all your dealings with others? Do you take care that your spiritual growth is not sacrificed to busyness but instead integrates your life's activities? Are your recreations consistent with Quaker values; do they refresh your spirit and renew your body and mind?
"Well, on most days...."
WHEW! What a list. Helpful questions, no doubt, but fearful too, unless faced in community and discussed in terms of the reality of imperfection.
At Monthly Meeting in July the clerk read the Query on home and family. Here's my favorite line:
"Should conflict or crisis threaten the stability of the home, are you open to seeking all necessary help, both from your meeting and from the larger community?"
Part way through the meeting the recording clerk requested that the business pause so we could review the minutes. The conversation had been a bit unwieldy, and she said "I need your guidance on this one, Friends!" I wanted to ring a gong and shout with acclamation. She was following the query! She found herself facing difficulty in her work, and she was asking for help with it. We all face "conflicts and crises" every day. I hope we don't feel like we need to deal with them in spiritual perfection, as Jesus might. God is perfect. We are NOT. I might ask, "What would Jesus do?" but follow it with "I'll try to do that, knowing that I'll fall short because I am human."
When we have sticky troubles, like jealousy or resentment, we should talk to others about them. Paul said that when he had such a "thorn in the flesh" he asked Jesus to remove it. The response was "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you." Then Paul rejoiced in his weakness, knowing that it in fact brought him closer to God.
Yesterday my difficulty was finding out that I didn't get a job I had hoped to get. I called a friend soon after I got the disappointing email, and cried. I hadn't been the "perfect" candidate, but more painfully, I hadn't had a "perfect" understanding of what God's will is for me. Sharing my crisis with another brought me closer to God, as fellowship almost always does.
A pamphlet (download from bottom of this page) made by the American Friends Service Committee describes the testimonies and how friends try to live by the SPICES (They do not use that term)
Simplicity
Peace
Integrity
Community
Equality
Stewardship
In what might be another piece of literature that reminds us how hard the spiritual path is, they insert this piece of wisdom:
Now think about spiritual perfection. What does perfection in our spiritual lives look like? Never having an angry thought? Showing love and kindness toward all all the time? Taking each action as if it were a prayer? Deliberately pausing to ask God's guidance before deciding anything? Giving 10% of everything to charity?
I can feel myself shrink in my chair as I type these phrases.
Sir Winston Churchill said "The maxim 'Nothing avails but perfection,' may be spelled 'Paralysis.'" He certainly should have known; a wartime leader when rules were being rewritten and nations were faced with frightful alternatives, Churchill knew that one cannot simultaneously pursue perfection and growth.While we all know this in our heart of hearts, it's hard to remember how OK it is to stumble, drop the ball, and most importantly, ask for help, when we separate ourselves from our spiritual fellows. The literature can be unforgiving.
A solitary perusal of a Quaker query, for example, can be an exercise in making oneself smaller.
6. Personal Conduct
Do you live with simplicity, moderation, and integrity? Are you punctual in keeping promises, careful in speech, just and compassionate in all your dealings with others? Do you take care that your spiritual growth is not sacrificed to busyness but instead integrates your life's activities? Are your recreations consistent with Quaker values; do they refresh your spirit and renew your body and mind?
"Well, on most days...."
WHEW! What a list. Helpful questions, no doubt, but fearful too, unless faced in community and discussed in terms of the reality of imperfection.
At Monthly Meeting in July the clerk read the Query on home and family. Here's my favorite line:
"Should conflict or crisis threaten the stability of the home, are you open to seeking all necessary help, both from your meeting and from the larger community?"
Part way through the meeting the recording clerk requested that the business pause so we could review the minutes. The conversation had been a bit unwieldy, and she said "I need your guidance on this one, Friends!" I wanted to ring a gong and shout with acclamation. She was following the query! She found herself facing difficulty in her work, and she was asking for help with it. We all face "conflicts and crises" every day. I hope we don't feel like we need to deal with them in spiritual perfection, as Jesus might. God is perfect. We are NOT. I might ask, "What would Jesus do?" but follow it with "I'll try to do that, knowing that I'll fall short because I am human."
When we have sticky troubles, like jealousy or resentment, we should talk to others about them. Paul said that when he had such a "thorn in the flesh" he asked Jesus to remove it. The response was "My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you." Then Paul rejoiced in his weakness, knowing that it in fact brought him closer to God.Yesterday my difficulty was finding out that I didn't get a job I had hoped to get. I called a friend soon after I got the disappointing email, and cried. I hadn't been the "perfect" candidate, but more painfully, I hadn't had a "perfect" understanding of what God's will is for me. Sharing my crisis with another brought me closer to God, as fellowship almost always does.
A pamphlet (download from bottom of this page) made by the American Friends Service Committee describes the testimonies and how friends try to live by the SPICES (They do not use that term)
Simplicity
Peace
Integrity
Community
Equality
Stewardship
In what might be another piece of literature that reminds us how hard the spiritual path is, they insert this piece of wisdom:
"Be gentle with yourself
While attempting to live in concert with these teachings , Quakers are tender with themselves and with each other when they fall short, ready to recommit and try again."
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